Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
