He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
