They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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