It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
