Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
