If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
