i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
