dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
