C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
