Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
