Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Congratulations! We have a period
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
