You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
