there's paper in my vomit.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
