Do you still have your period?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
