i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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