There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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