lets start a swedish sibling band together
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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