I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
