U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
