a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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