Need sex. Gaining weight.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
