Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize