she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize