Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
