he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
