why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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