yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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