she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
