So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
