I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
