nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
