DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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