Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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