She said her name was "party"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
