Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
