am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
