I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
