How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
