The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
