Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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