At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
