tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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