He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize