i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
