if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
