for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
