I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
