do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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