i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
