Non-Jews are for practice
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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