thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
