fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
