I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
