i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
