Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
