so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
