i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
