Nicole vs. Life
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
